Growing up or Growing Old Continued

Luke, 6 months.
Luke, 30 yrs. (i guess i won't be writing his age on the back of his portraits anymore) Here with his wife Emily (forever 19 looking), Spencer (3) and Camille (18mo.)

If you have read my blog in the last few minutes you would realize that I accidentally posted it before getting very far - twice! I am still really struggling with this being over 30 and trying to be techie.

So to continue .... The blogs of those young mothers bring back lots of memories of life when my five children were all shorter than I am and I was the center of the three-ring circus we called home. I loved it, even though I complained too much all the way through those wild years.

My oldest "baby" just turned 30 this month. (yikes!) I can't possibly be old enough to have a 30-year old child even if I was a mere child myself when he was born. His baby picture is a little fuzzy because in those days we had cameras that used film (if you have any, you better save it to show your kids - they will have no idea what you're talking about) and had to wait weeks for the prints to be developed. So I took a picture of his baby picture with my iphone to post on this blog - thus the fuzz.(I love my iphone almost as much as my family - and a lot more than blogger!!)

I think I loved having kids around so much because I could keep pretending I wasn't growing up. My favorite part of the week now is when I help in my friend's Kindergarten classroom. I can do all the things I most love to do with a bunch of friends - fingerpaint, cut things up, glue things on, listen to stories, sing silly songs, build with wooden blocks, wipe my nose on my sleeve and giggle.

Kindergarten reminds me of all the other things I loved about childhood too: pretending, dressing up, playing outside instead of "exercising", tasting something for the first time, building forts, having races (ok, skinned knees, but then someone to kiss it and make it better) climbing trees, swinging, tag, hiding in really small places, watching airplane tracks in the sky while lying in the grass, never worrying about time or schedules (someone will just tell me what to do next) and, of course, TOYS!

I know I have a double standard - I've sometimes told my children (and myself actually) to  "grow up" - be responsible, make decisions, think about others, take care of your stuff and lots of other things that I know are important and that we really must do. But my fear is I'll forget what it's like to be a kid and then that would be going too far! That would be growing OLD - my biggest fear of all time - the really big monster under my bed! I don't want to grow old more than I didn't want to eat tomatoes when I was six! 

Of course, there's really no preventing the birthday thing - even my 30-year-old son has to accept the fact that he will never again be able to blow out all the candles at once. But do we have to grow old? Thank heavens for grandchildren!!! And thank heavens for their parents who let me hang out with them now and then. With them I can keep pretending!